The Power of Connection: Making One-on-Ones Matter

One-on-one meetings. They're a staple in most workplaces, but are yours truly making a difference? Too often, these scheduled catch-ups become just that – a quick chat about projects, with little real impact. But when done well, one-on-ones are a powerful engine for building strong teams, boosting individual growth, and driving overall success. With over 20 years of experience building high-performing teams, I've seen firsthand the transformative power of effective one-on-ones. This post will explore how to move beyond the surface and unlock the true potential of these vital conversations.

Regular one-on-one meetings offer a unique opportunity to:

Build rapport and trust: They create a dedicated space for genuine connection, fostering a stronger working relationship built on mutual understanding and respect.
Improve communication and feedback: They provide a platform for open and honest dialogue, enabling timely feedback, both given and received.
Provide support and guidance: They allow managers to offer tailored support, coaching, and mentorship, helping team members navigate challenges and develop their skills.
Identify and address roadblocks: They provide a chance to proactively identify and address obstacles that might be hindering progress, preventing small issues from becoming big problems.
Foster individual growth and development: They enable discussions about career aspirations, learning opportunities, and development plans, demonstrating a commitment to individual growth.
Increase employee engagement and motivation: They show team members that their contributions are valued and their voices are heard, boosting engagement and motivation.

Making it Work: Practical Guidance for Effective One-on-Ones

Frequency and Scheduling:

Consistency is key. Weekly or fortnightly meetings are generally ideal, allowing for regular check-ins and consistent support. Establish a recurring time that works for both of you and stick to it.

Why it's important: Consistent meetings establish a rhythm and demonstrate your commitment to the one-on-one process. Regularity allows for timely feedback, addressing emerging issues, and consistent support.

Weekly or fortnightly: These cadences are generally recommended, providing enough frequency to maintain momentum without becoming overwhelming. Weekly is often preferred for newer team members or during times of significant change. Fortnightly can work well for more experienced team members with established workflows.

Recurring meetings: Schedule the one-on-ones as recurring appointments on both calendars. This helps ensure consistency and prevents them from being easily cancelled or postponed.

Set a consistent time: Try to keep the meeting time consistent each week/fortnight. This helps both you and your team member plan accordingly.

Be flexible when needed: While consistency is important, life happens. Be prepared to reschedule occasionally when necessary, but make it the exception, not the rule.

Respect time boundaries: Start and end the meetings on time, unless there's a compelling reason to extend. Respecting each other's time is essential.

Creating a Safe Space:

Confidentiality is crucial. Ensure the meeting takes place in a private setting where team members feel comfortable sharing openly. Emphasise that the conversation is confidential and focused on support and growth.

Why it's important: A safe and comfortable environment is crucial for open and honest communication. If team members don't feel safe, they won't share their true concerns, challenges, or ideas.

Private location: Choose a quiet and private location where you won't be interrupted or overheard. A closed office or a quiet meeting room is ideal. Avoid public spaces or areas where you might be overheard.

Physical comfort: Ensure the meeting space is comfortable. Consider factors like seating, temperature, and lighting.

Set the tone: Begin the meeting with a friendly and approachable demeanour. Acknowledge their efforts and create a relaxed atmosphere.

Active listening: Pay close attention to what your team member is saying, both verbally and nonverbally. Make eye contact, nod, and avoid distractions like your phone or computer.

Empathy and understanding: Show genuine empathy and understanding for their perspectives, even if you don't agree with them.

Confidentiality: Emphasise that the conversation is confidential and will not be shared with others (unless there are legal or ethical obligations).

The Right Questions to Ask (and Why):

Thoughtful questions are the cornerstone of a productive one-on-one. Consider these examples, categorised by purpose:

Why it's important: Thoughtful questions guide the conversation and help you gain valuable insights into your team member's performance, development, and wellbeing.

Open-ended questions: Ask open-ended questions that encourage your team member to share their thoughts and feelings. Avoid questions that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no."

Focus on key areas: Structure your questions around key areas like performance, development, wellbeing, and feedback. (As outlined below) )

Listen more than you talk: The one-on-one is primarily for your team member. Your role is to listen, ask clarifying questions, and offer support.

Tailor your questions: Adapt your questions to the individual and their specific situation. What works for one person may not work for another.

Prepare in advance: While it's good to be flexible, it's also helpful to have a few questions prepared in advance to help guide the conversation.

Performance:

"What are your current priorities, and how are you tracking against them?" (Why: To understand progress, identify potential roadblocks, and offer support.)
"What are your biggest wins from the past week/fortnight?" (Why: To acknowledge achievements and boost morale.)
"What challenges are you facing, and how can I help?" (Why: To provide support and address potential issues early.)

Development:

"What are your career goals, and how can I support you in achieving them?" (Why: To demonstrate investment in their growth and identify development opportunities.)
"What skills would you like to develop, and what resources can we provide?" (Why: To support professional development and identify training needs.)
"What learning opportunities are you interested in exploring?" (Why: To encourage continuous learning and development.)

Wellbeing:

"How are you feeling about your workload and work-life balance?" (Why: To show care for their wellbeing and address potential burnout.)
"Is there anything I can do to make your work environment more supportive?" (Why: To create a positive and inclusive work environment.)

Feedback:

"What feedback do you have for me, and what can I do to support you better?" (Why: To demonstrate openness to feedback and build trust.)
"What feedback do you have for the team, and how can we improve our collaboration?" (Why: To foster a culture of open communication and continuous improvement.)

Active Listening and Follow-Up:

Active listening is paramount. Pay attention, ask clarifying questions, and summarise what you've heard to ensure understanding. Crucially, follow up on any action items agreed upon. This demonstrates your commitment and builds trust.

Why it's important: Active listening demonstrates respect and shows your team member that you value their input. Consistent follow-up builds trust and ensures that action items are completed.

Pay attention: Focus entirely on what your team member is saying. Minimise distractions and avoid multitasking.

Reflect back: Summarise what you've heard to ensure you understand correctly. This also gives your team member a chance to clarify anything.

Ask clarifying questions: Don't hesitate to ask questions to get a deeper understanding of their perspective.

Take notes: Jot down key takeaways and action items during the meeting. This helps you remember what was discussed and ensures follow-up.

Follow through: Crucially, follow up on any action items that were agreed upon. This demonstrates your commitment and builds trust. If you said you would do something, do it.

Setting an Agenda (Collaboratively):

Before each meeting, collaboratively create a brief agenda. This ensures the meeting stays focused and addresses the most important topics. Team members should feel empowered to add items to the agenda.

Why it's important: A collaborative agenda ensures that the meeting is focused and productive. It also gives your team member a sense of ownership and control over the conversation.

Shared document: Use a shared document (e.g., Google Doc, or a Miro board) where both you and your team member can add items to the agenda.

Add items in advance: Encourage your team member to add items to the agenda before the meeting so you both have time to prepare.

Prioritise topics: At the beginning of the meeting, briefly review the agenda and prioritize the topics you want to discuss.

Be flexible: While an agenda is helpful, be prepared to deviate from it if necessary. Sometimes important topics come up that weren't planned in advance.

Documenting and Tracking:

Keep brief notes of key takeaways and action items from each meeting. This helps ensure accountability and tracks progress over time.

Why it's important: Documenting key takeaways and action items helps ensure accountability and tracks progress over time. It also provides a valuable record of past conversations.

Keep it concise: Keep your notes brief and focused on the most important points. You don't need to transcribe the entire conversation.

Focus on action items: Pay particular attention to any action items that were agreed upon, including who is responsible for what and by when.

Review previous notes: At the beginning of each meeting, briefly review the notes from the previous meeting to ensure follow-up on any outstanding items.

Use a consistent system: Find a system for documenting and tracking your one-on-one meetings that works for you and stick to it. This could be a shared document, a dedicated note-taking app, or even a simple spreadsheet.

For Managers:

Be present, empathetic, and supportive. Focus on listening more than talking. Use the one-on-one as an opportunity to coach and mentor your team members.

For Team Members:

Come prepared with topics you want to discuss. Be open and honest in your communication. Use the one-on-one as an opportunity to seek guidance, share feedback, and discuss your career goals.

Effective one-on-one meetings are an investment that pays dividends. By focusing on building rapport, asking the right questions, actively listening, and following up, you can transform these catch-ups into powerful tools for driving individual growth, strengthening team dynamics, and achieving organisational success. It’s not just about having the meeting; it’s about making it matter.

If you'd like to explore how I can help your organisation navigate its Agile journey, please don't hesitate to get in touch.